Encounter

there was a tether tugged from behind me
awareness hooked and sliding
through a crack in my spine
I turned and he was already looking at me
from feet and feet away
yet somehow the distance
closed with that one glimpse
of anonymous need…

two empaths crossing paths
in an under-dressed fortuity
until he ended up mixing with me
our heat, bubbling familiarity
until I had to look away
before the person of the season
caught wind of our secret converse
our metaphysical traverse
blatant, which only makes it worse
when he comes to stand behind me
to press against me
when the other wasn’t looking
to jump start the passion
even though I wasn’t looking
but I feel him, he knows me
the reason why it’s confounding

he teased the beast I was confining
for the sake of others binding
with me and he left to quickly,
taking his with him while I testified
with an ethereal whim…

I’ve been aching for so long

– B. Brown

(image courtesy of Pinterest)

Instant Gratitude

you smile at me,
as if those lips were
custom made for me…

this persona
you’ve got me situated in
is it straining
or am I swimming?

you think I’m flying
because I try to think
before I speak
as if I cared so much
to waste my time trying
for you to find me,
when loving yourself
only comes second
to nothing else,
so anyone else who
is just as deserving
is irrationally
unnerving, serving only
as a diversion
from the
commitment excursion

but still
those lips…
I can salvage them
anonymously,
maybe imagine
atomically
you and I as
harmony

ironically

– B. Brown

via DailyPrompt: Gratitude

Pilgrimage

I didn’t know how turbulent finding myself would be. It meant that I had to shift through all the bullshit that was blocking my intuition. It meant I had to be honest, and accept every element of myself and my history. I’m remembering dreams I’d forgotten, emotions I never dealt with and a state of being in which I was born to be.

I didn’t know what that state of being was until began working on a project that is demanding every ounce of reserves I have left in me. I thought I didn’t have much to start with but so much is pouring out of me, and just when I feel like I’ve gotten it all out, more flows and crashes against my mental stability.

It was nerve-wracking, diving into the rabbit holes of my consciousness. I didn’t know if I was ready to face the rawest, darkest parts of myself. Have you every felt as though you were exposing yourself, to yourself? And what you’ve come to see is enough to question your own reasoning, your own perception? It’s like strategically operating through a midst of mania. Yes, I say mania because I want you to know how senseless it would still all seem to me without the platform of poetry.

but this mental instability, it seems required because none of my academic awareness or logical reasoning can comprehensively explain what happens when I translate bits of my being into formulated stanzas. It’s not just my mind and hands at play here

and this intensity that reverberates within me, it drives me the longer and harder I cultivate it, elevating me towards heights within myself I couldn’t get to when I was stuck in an egotistical limbo.

it’s why I’m okay with being a little unsettled. I was too solid and stubborn before. To be open for everything, you have to be prepared to feel anything. Inspiration, love, wisdom, the truth, they’re supposed to break barriers and make you a little uncomfortable. It’d be difficult to pinpoint where we need improvement if it weren’t for emotions like pain, irritation, anger, sadness, resentment and others.

so far this project has taught me to respect the duality of my human nature. That, all of our emotions and senses, negative or positive, are meant to guide us through life, not to keep us from living a fulfilling one.

– B. Brown

(image: painting by Maxime Sabourin)

Poetry Vault: Untitled — Life & Times of A Borderline

(Untitled. 8/16/17. Los Angeles, California) I am pretty I am not masculine enough I am slacking I am not productive enough I am irresponsible I am not financially stable enough I am depressed I am not independent enough I am new I am not sexually experienced enough I dress straight I am not gay enough […]

via Poetry Vault: Untitled — Life & Times of A Borderline

this is such a solemn reality for many… if you’ve ever felt this way, just know you have a right to love and be whoever, however you truly are…

Grow Sum

The Thing About Crushes…

you spin, surrounded
in a circle of wonderful disasters
knowing that with a little more work,
you could get them to come to Be
so you say to me,
with just one life to live,
I don’t know which one
to run with,

but that’s easy to tell,
I think, these days
just like with everything else,
you have choose
the one that will last
through the honeymoon phase…


– B. Brown

(image courtesy of Pinterest)

Poetry Contest

This is the first poetry contest I’ve entered. I’ve got some pretty damn good competitors too. KaylaAnn sure knows how to throw a party

Mantra

I am a writer,
I knew this,
I am a writer,
I felt this,
I am a writer,
I saw this,
I am a writer
I heard this
when the television sets
and the curtains barricade
when the pure sleep
and the doubt leaks
when I settle back Home
and the mind slows
to a creep
and my heart leaps
and the Will comes
back into focus
I know this,
I am a writer,
I feel this,
I am a writer,
I see this,
I am I writer
I hear this
I am a writer

I can do this


– B. Brown

When I feel discouraged, sometimes I’ll do a little chant, say a little prayer or hum a little tune to cultivate some inspiration. What ever it takes to be persistent, right? It’s okay to take an L as long as you have ways to get up and keep gaining…

(image courtesy of Pinterest)

Obscured

who will I trust
you stroll
just like all the others,

with generic attempts
slumping to accept
decomposure

as I see through you,
I’m self contained
I see the augment of others
through your mirrored musings

so who would I laugh with?
as your delight is practiced
with naked tactics
I’ve countered
too many wars ago

when in the dark
you’ll feel just as smug
as all the others
without texture
to foster
how can this be
sensational?

I marinate in
abstractions,
an identity
that requires
traction

and nothing fastens
with you,
with nothing to adhere to

who will I be trusting?
who will I be loving?

– B. Brown

DailyPrompt: Identity

(image: painting by Shin Kwangho)