there are things I wish I would’ve done
and things I once wished I could change.
I made some mistakes along the pubilshing
process that almost made me faint
however
one day, I will
be able to look back on this and smile, not cringe
because I plunged
into that icy surface with eyes wide open
and it’s mine (no one can take this)
that’s why writing this was a challenge
this book had no remorse,
the things that it required of me
to withdraw to think
to stop to think
to cry it out to think
to apologize to think
to forgive to think
to accept to think
to open to think
think, think, think…
it took so much thinking…
and that brought so much feeling…
I spent a lot of time in the womb of my mind…
I didn’t know what I would find…
that I hadn’t accepted my mother’s
death
that God had came down
and stared me right in the face,
my face,
my mother’s face
and that shit takes the breath
right out of you…
I didn’t know she possessed
the majority share
of the air I breathed
I searched and scoured recklessly
(blessedly, my mother provided
a passion for writing
a gift that keeps giving
one that keeps me breathing
even from over the horizon)
until I found my true keep,
until I awoke and saw
life/death clearly
and it’s riveting
if not motivating
(although the constant awarness
is still residing, haunting)
I wanted to conclude
Amnesia’s presentation
to provide you
with a more suitable representation
of it’s creation and
I know I’m not the only one struggling with this
I can’t be
this is a universal
tragedy
that keeps on
giving
you are not alone,
(and I struggled with this too)
I tell you,
you are not alone…
-B. Brown
True. My mom passed away in 1998 and I still miss her. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I see her face.
Yes, me too. Or I’ll say something to my daughter that she once said to me, and I’ll sound so much like her
Your writing never fails to move me. I lost my mom almost 30 years ago; your thoughts and feelings and words resonate so much with me. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading your book.
Thank you 😌 I had no idea how much of me she held and vice versa. It’s a shock to the soul
I always feel like people get to know my mom through me; she is always part of everything I do. It is such a profound loss and I think until you go through it, you can’t begin to know how painful it is. I admire and appreciate you sharing your experience. Your mom would be so incredibly proud.
Nicely written. I love the visuals.
thank you 😀
Thanks 😊
That was amazing! And complicated complex challenging. Peace to your mother and you, Ms. Brown.
Thank you very much 🙂