it’s in her brown eyes
and shy grin
the way she laughs
when she shouts,
she wins me

when she needs me
honestly, loves
and cares constantly
gaze always on me
pondering possibly
fun and snickers with me

she searches for me
when she can’t feel me
calls for me
when I’m about to
recede, block out
turn on myself
and smother
with self-doubt

and unworthiness
and guilt, the fear
and scrutiny dealt
the purpose, will
and uncertainty felt

melts when she comes
for my love and warmth,
elusive until she wraps me
in her forgiving arms

accepting and adoring
me either way
however way
she knows
I needed it most

– B. Brown

(art by Ina Shtukar)

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