Untimely Wisdom

like a flower who bloomed too soon,

I witnessed the harshes of winters, alone

pelted with acidic rain

no chance to glisten with dew,

only frost, fragrance diffused

I welt before decaying leaves,  

my flush foreign

amongst fraying faculties,

couldn’t fathom following through

as a phantom into the spring

– B. Brown

The Abandoned

moaning prayers
and profanities
roaming,
receding under bridges
haunting
highway entrances,
dumpster diving
for foam boxes
shoes and canes
and the flicker
of mercy
of an orange cigarette butt
to keep pushing stuffed
shopping carts with sheets,
coats on top of cans
on top of garbage bags
rattling below
a spotless, waving
American flag

– B. Brown

(The face of homelesness by Lee Jeffries)

Witnesses

you may have posted a poem the other day
about heartache and frustration
or maybe you shared a short romantic story
one that’d been simmering in your mind for ages
or maybe you had the strength to drag
a traumatic experience out into the open
as memoir or journal entry…

what ever it was, it felt good getting out, right?
(I can’t describe the satisfying feeling
I get letting my works flap their wings
and take off for their soaring sprees)

but it’s never the end of our stories

what we write, will live on forever,
finding themselves in unlikely hands,
changing minds and hearts
echoing a unique human experience
for it’s audience; it’s the audience
that impacts the imaginative world’s journey

so, we have to prepare for the pupils that screen our words,
the inner ears that hear our whispers
the thoughts that can thwart or carry our themes…
we should want to know who’s reading,
who’ll want more of what, our harsh honesty or vivid dreams?

who are we writing for? for what reason?
you’ll want to know who’s reading, who’s listening
because if there’s no one around
will your tale prevail?
will it still traverse it’s itinerary?

will it still be worth happening?

– B. Brown

(image by Wesley Burt)

How to Create an Internal Mindset Conducive to Writing | Jane Friedman

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.janefriedman.com/mindset/amp/

There are two mental settings that are particularly relevant for writers:

  • Fixed or growth mindset
  • Abundance or scarcity mindset

Jane makes a very important point on her post. If we are constantly learning and growing, so will our talent and creativity. We shouldn’t worry about tapping out. We also shouldn’t assume that just because something has been done already, it wouldn’t be worth our time telling a story with our own voice. Our perspective is unique and that’s what makes people want to read your ish: your personal style. Being too critical and wondering what the next guy is doing will only stunt your creativity. That’s why mindset is important. 

Too often we second guess ourselves and our work, but our individual work is all that we can produce honestly. Don’t second guess yourself, improve yourself and find out what you need to do to make yourself stand out.

Write every day and you’ll find your way.

– B. Brown

(image courtesy of Pinterest) 

It’s Time

nothing but heaven
where she once thought
there would be doom
after leaping
from a weeping chrysalis
upon first gasp of morning
for letting the tears congeal
thereafter hands peel
and unfold bones
fixated for so long
via breaking tendons
following lungs expanding
eyes opening
awareness
there is something
out there

I cannot live here

– B. Brown

(art: Unexpected Change by Doris Tesarkova Oplova)

To Walk on Water…

the single cell amoeba
sends out it’s distress signal
in the form of a secretion
that attracts other
single cells…

safety in numbers,
fish maintain
a closed distance
from one another,
constantly keeping tabs,
not too close, not too far
just enough to up
the odds of survival
should nature decide
to rush it’s course…

and it’s the same
for our famed avian,
collectively riding
magnetic winds,
formations reforming
according to the shift
in elements,
highly efficient
as one…

and what are the bees
without their queen?
what is the pride
without their king?
what are the packs
without their alpha?

these, algorithms,
these rules of life,
of survival, of existence
of community, of society
are prevalent everywhere

even with our kind

but the funny thing is,
for some reason,
one way or another,
we can generate
new algorithms,
new ways of life

we have options

we don’t need
secretions
to provoke a congregation
(did I push a button?)

we don’t need
to keep others
just within our reach
for detection,
for protection
(is the shoe starting to fit?)

we don’t need
formations
and patterns
to really feel,
to get where
we need to be
(did you forget
you’re a spiritual
being?)

we have autonomy,
individuality,
in a universe
constantly conspiring

we have
an unmatched form
of navigating
for survival,
through community
throughout society,
of our existence

that’s right,
we can navigate
our own existence

so there’s no need
to be a part
of a sluggish consciousness,
there’s no need
to swim blindly
with the purely surviving,
there’s no need
to clutter the horizon
with the rest of ’em,
you don’t necessarily
need a queen,
or to carry a king
or be ruled
by an alpha…

unless that’s your place,
and that’s just fine,
in a way,
it isn’t any less divine

but what if you could be
a multi-celled anomaly?
what if you were
destined to walk on land?
what if you could
survive the flight
to holy heights?

what if you need no form?
what if you could walk on water?
what if you could make it to the sun?

what if,
my darling,
what if?

– B. Brown

(painting by Linda Olsen)

Help Yourselves

not everyone catches on to the trend
because we die too soon before we can
tell the ancient tales
of our paladin kin…

the pattern goes unnoticed
because we’re too busy struggling
with internal bloodshed
to lift our heads and see
that the nonsense spilling from TV
persuading there’s something wrong with us
we are in deep shit
and in need of help, constantly
the pressure, the anxiety,
do what you gotta do, rustle and bustle
so that guilt doesn’t catch up to you,
that lost time wont reveal itself to you
so you don’t have to deal
with the emotions inside you that are very real,
we’re convinced we are trapped
in an ego that tells lies
not to be trusted and with no compromise
who can you trust
when you’ve been conditioned
not to trust yourself?
when you’ve lost yourself
before you could become yourself
because you must align with your lowest self
to suit their design with shams so sublime

but it’s okay
cause there’s an app for that
there’s a tag for that,
there’s a condition, a disorder, a label for that
there’s a commercial about that
there’s a six pack for that,
I think there’s a six month program for that
there’s still a legal way to obtain that,
a dime sack, a bottle cap and a pill for that
there are spell casting money machines for that
there are clothes, cars and labels
for that hole growing inside our souls
because no one knows
what the fuck is happening to our kind

where are our elders? our mothers? fathers?
who have them?
and I can’t be the only child

we are in desperate need
of human creeds with merit
of human hands
to help the human heart
of soft human words
to curb the nerves
triggered by contradictory terms
and the conditions world

we want to be
we want to conquer
yet, no body knows their birthright
sanctioned by a divine light
currently getting snuffed out
by flickering screens
and jaded histories
and the detached souls
tumbling around inside troubled bodies

where are our families, huh?
I thought we were all one race.
what happened to my family, huh?
somewhere along the line,
we all lost our place in life.
we lost our ability
to learn and grow safely in life

but it’ll be alright,
because slowly,
I think we’re coming into knowing,
questioning what the veil
has been withholding

I’m hoping
the rest wake up soon
it’s damn near past noon

it’s been time to wake up

get up
and help yourselves
while the sun is still up

get up
and help yourselves
can’t count on anyone else

– B. Brown

(art by Italian born Marc Rea. His work is somethin’ else, yall, check him out:

http://www.wetheurban.com/post/128653345834/beautifully-haunting-marco-rea-inspired-by)

Intimate 

It started off feeling like an unproductive day. It took me longer than usual to work myself into that head space that allowed me to put words to paper. When that happens, it’s like it gets harder to breathe. You have to keep your cool and trust that your livelihood will flow before you’re suffocated. I was able to cough up one small poem and I took it ’cause beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll take whatever He allows me. 

I didn’t realize it at the time but that poem was the first bone to hit the ground. Eventually, my thoughts, my drive and my intuition collaborated with that Higher Source and delivered a message to me. It was the confirmation I didn’t know I was waiting for. It came to me in a flash, lasting only a matter of seconds but showing me the internal destination of the route I was currently on.

It was when I was editing, tagging and re-tagging, reorganizing the contents of project when He revealed to me that I was exactly where I was supposed to be if I wanted to continue on cultivating the woman I wanted to be. In that revelation, I felt the support of my ancestors, my mother’s approval and my own relief. It was brief, just a taste of what I was currently cooking, but I’ve never felt anything so gratifying.

I didn’t know that by accepting who and what I am, what I’ve gone through and what I probably will go through, that I would develop such an intimate relationship with the Unseen Happenings of this world. I didn’t know that opening myself up, however excruciating and tedious as it was, would afford me such a connection. I’m so grateful for the correspondences.

– B. Brown

Forgive Your Mother

she never had anything good to say about her mother
until she needed help

I know a man who still resents his mother for
abandoning him when he was young

there was another who said she never wanted
to see her mother again

a pair like to punish their mothers by
withholding their children

and there are so many more who cannot see
how important their roles are

even if they did a shitty job at the whole protection
and education thing

even if they did more harm than good, even if they
weren’t there at all

they are still pillars, fillers, millers, eaters, feelers
and oxygen breathers

they are still human, living in the same paradoxical
world the rest of us do

struggling to reach enlightenment just as all of us
were born to do

coping with the evils, pressures and oppressions
that not every one sees

trying to put a picture together with pieces
none of us will ever see

because we are in our own realities, filling,
eating and breathing

and it’s far too easy to shift blame on an
proceeding authority

instead of letting go history
to heal presently

so we can treasure what’s
left with another

peace is rare, not to be plucked
from others

so why grudge, when we can
restore and love our mothers?

– B. Brown

I will never understand what it’s like to be abused, abandoned or ridiculed by my own mother. I can’t fathom it but I know others live it on a daily basis. Chaos, nightmare, hell… I know these words just aren’t heavy enough for those kinds of experiences so then, who am I to tell you to forgive the woman that has become the bane of your existence?

Nothing but freedom awaits when you forgive and unload that heavy burden. You don’t necessarily have to forgive them for their sake (no one is saying you have to be besties) but it’s necessary that you forgive for your own sake. The metaphysical connections we have with our mothers are so integrated that hating them eventually turns into hate for ourselves. The knots that churn in your tummy every time you think about how wrong they’ve done you only fester and expand like black holes, gaining weight by swallowing everything else about your Being. Then, what are you left with? Two black holes fighting for supremacy. Where does this lead? No where but to more heartache.

Choosing to forgive opens up more possibilities in the future. After all, nothing in this universe stays stagnant so why should your heart? Life is too short, our consciousness all too rare and our capabilities are unique only to us as beautiful, complicated, powerful humans. So if you can, with the power, autonomy and strength that the universe has invested in you, try to forgive your mother. Neither one of you deserve to remain slaves to passed mistakes.

(image by David Sketchbook)

Pilgrimage

I didn’t know how turbulent finding myself would be. It meant that I had to shift through all the bullshit that was blocking my intuition. It meant I had to be honest, and accept every element of myself and my history. I’m remembering dreams I’d forgotten, emotions I never dealt with and a state of being in which I was born to be.

I didn’t know what that state of being was until began working on a project that is demanding every ounce of reserves I have left in me. I thought I didn’t have much to start with but so much is pouring out of me, and just when I feel like I’ve gotten it all out, more flows and crashes against my mental stability.

It was nerve-wracking, diving into the rabbit holes of my consciousness. I didn’t know if I was ready to face the rawest, darkest parts of myself. Have you every felt as though you were exposing yourself, to yourself? And what you’ve come to see is enough to question your own reasoning, your own perception? It’s like strategically operating through a midst of mania. Yes, I say mania because I want you to know how senseless it would still all seem to me without the platform of poetry.

but this mental instability, it seems required because none of my academic awareness or logical reasoning can comprehensively explain what happens when I translate bits of my being into formulated stanzas. It’s not just my mind and hands at play here

and this intensity that reverberates within me, it drives me the longer and harder I cultivate it, elevating me towards heights within myself I couldn’t get to when I was stuck in an egotistical limbo.

it’s why I’m okay with being a little unsettled. I was too solid and stubborn before. To be open for everything, you have to be prepared to feel anything. Inspiration, love, wisdom, the truth, they’re supposed to break barriers and make you a little uncomfortable. It’d be difficult to pinpoint where we need improvement if it weren’t for emotions like pain, irritation, anger, sadness, resentment and others.

so far this project has taught me to respect the duality of my human nature. That, all of our emotions and senses, negative or positive, are meant to guide us through life, not to keep us from living a fulfilling one.

– B. Brown

(image: painting by Maxime Sabourin)