1000 Followers!!! 😁❤️🌹

I cant believe I made it to 1k followers! This is truly a blessing for me and I want to thank you guys for your love, support and feedback. You’ve helped me grow and maintain the confidence to keep growing. Thank you thank you thank yous!

Update: I finished my Story and Concept class with an A! It was so stressful but my hard work certainly paid off.

I got a new kitten! His name is Alfred and he always likes to help me edit on the computer

I’m moving to Atlanta this year! I’m terrified but excited to expand my horizons

A publishing company contacted me! This could be the beginning of my career guys! Wish me luck!

Estranged

how comfortable I was

giving everything

I thought I was

before I knew

what or who I was

conforming

performing how a hidden

witness does

how solicitous

with barely a soul to offer

if it’d give me a chance

a place

a body to harbor

– B. Brown

(image courtesy of Pinterest)

Untimely Wisdom

like a flower who bloomed too soon,

I witnessed the harshes of winters, alone

pelted with acidic rain

no chance to glisten with dew,

only frost, fragrance diffused

I welt before decaying leaves,  

my flush foreign

amongst fraying faculties,

couldn’t fathom following through

as a phantom into the spring

– B. Brown

Where is the Balance?

when I have to convince myself
that maybe you too
could have a penny for me
a coppery cent to fund
my stimulation organization

that you’ll help me grow
keep my vines thriving
bearing fruit from our labor
oh, I can just taste it now
a candied poison berry flavor

but I have to hope and pray steadfastly
that you’ll come through for me
through the ache, my anger
to wager through to me to love me

and I have to demand
that you see me clearly
wash your hands
before you handle me
understand
that you’re becoming part of me
for you to know
I’m not taking you lightly

when I have to plead for you
to forgive me
for simply acting on my tailored beliefs
for splitting myself to drip heavily, feeding
where is the balance
if you won’t feel for me?

– B. Brown

(art courtesy of Pinterest)

Premeditated

two bullet wounds
one puddle
of gleaming rose
petals
too many tracks
not enough prints
her lipstick
a good bye letter
tacked to his collar

-B. Brown

Journal: Tight Rope

I’ve been walking a tight rope lately,
my arms stretched as far as they’d go
into the winds,
challenging my balance…

I don’t know what keeps this line suspended,
tight enough to hold my weight,
slack enough to keep me wavering…

I do my best not to look down,
I’ve fallen before,
rather not have it happen again,
but it’s tempting…

I keep inching, hoping for something
anything, an intervention
divine, an intermissive stimulation

I keep hoping for a surprise,
looking for a sign saying maybe
it wouldn’t be the worst
thing to dive, to get it over with

to slip and accept with grace
another body to offer a chance,
an extraction from my delayed reaction,

this fear of forming any attachments…

– B. Brown

(image by Alain Laboile)

Trust Issues

what happens when it’s all you got left

keeping you afloat,

giving you hope

a line to other hearts,

a line to be used against you,

as a tournicate

strapped across your vital parts

how can you bleed?

how do you breathe?

– B. Brown

(stitch art by Andrea Farina)

While I’m Down

afraid to move

too suddenly

for the wind to carry

my scent 

off to who knows where

to who knows who

for if they came for me now

they’d take all

I had left to lose

– B. Brown

Pulled Apart

on display
sold as is
no returns
after alterations
so you were stuck with me
defective,
useless
for your prerogatives,
unaware
that I was more
than what you wanted

I was everything
that you needed

– B. Brown

(Doll Chateau Stacia)

My Story Still Continues…

I published my first book back in November. I emptied everything I struggled with into it and then sent it off to the world. My friend asks me why I haven’t been promoting it and I told her the truth, even though it was kind of silly.

The truth is that I’m a teeny bit embarrassed about how much I put into it. I gave it my all, like I was supposed to but still, putting such tender pieces of myself onto those pages… it’s like I’m not ready for the entire world to know yet.

Yet…

I still relieved it’s out there and I know that it could help someone who struggles with loss and their faith just like I do. At least from these pages, someone will know they’re not alone. That there is someone else out there with the same hang ups about family, love and death.

If you’re interested, you can find my book here: Amnesia

I’m working on another collection of poetry as well. This one will be a little less solemn as it is about learning love and understanding the beauty of our nature. My story still continues and I hope to share more with you guys soon.