Where is the Balance?

when I have to convince myself
that maybe you too
could have a penny for me
a coppery cent to fund
my stimulation organization

that you’ll help me grow
keep my vines thriving
bearing fruit from our labor
oh, I can just taste it now
a candied poison berry flavor

but I have to hope and pray steadfastly
that you’ll come through for me
through the ache, my anger
to wager through to me to love me

and I have to demand
that you see me clearly
wash your hands
before you handle me
understand
that you’re becoming part of me
for you to know
I’m not taking you lightly

when I have to plead for you
to forgive me
for simply acting on my tailored beliefs
for splitting myself to drip heavily, feeding
where is the balance
if you won’t feel for me?

– B. Brown

(art courtesy of Pinterest)

You Wouldn’t or You Couldn’t – Prose Practice

you were or you weren’t, hoping I was looking for you in him and her,
but one thing’s for certain, you saw more than what you earned
and now there’s another who has me faded, and they’re trusted
to bring me back to myself safely, that’s what you see
standing before you, this is me. they threw away the worn
and tattered pieces and let me freeform, that’s what you feel
beating, this is how love is supposed to be twists and turns,
ups and downs but never extremities to stunt the soul,
you did or didn’t have to see it through me, I am happy
as a reverie, no one told you to come find me

-B.Brown

(art by Timothy M. Parker)

Expendable

your favorite piece

to critique

every flaw

and mistake

romanticized

globalized

in your domain,

as the phantom

that shadows

your stage

plowing performance

just existing

just mediating

a message

of my salvaged

tastes

to think

I’d lay waste

to your brilliance

your grace

however fated

was never my place

to commentate

or delegate

your affinities

but obscurities

worsen

the more I try

to make amends

I never asked

for dividends

just been happening

and I have my own

worth to prove

yet you prove

left and right

my struggles

never in your hindsight

my confusion

never in your mind’s eye

and my pain

parched

of spotlight

yet,

we love

during the daylight

and you shift

in the moonlight

to demote me

and show me

it’s you

that bites harder

that the pack is bartered

by who can do what

but who will do what

in the case

of a dilemma

if no one

is any one’s

else’s problem

but I guess

that’s not your

problem

I’m

fortunately,

the problem

– B. Brown

 

(image: peeling wall paint in Magna, Utah, courtesy of Pinterest)