Expedition

This journey is unlike anything I could’ve imagined ( good thing this whole thing isn’t my daydream). Because I didn’t think I had it in me, this thing that everyone else saw in me. This thing that earned me the honor of teaching twenty-two blossoming minds.

I was only substituting for about a month and a half before this kindergarten class was tossed into my lap.

I’m considered a long-term substitute; these babies are mine for the rest of the year. I don’t have a teaching certification. My BA didn’t have anything to do with education. I didn’t even want this responsibility. But anyone who is a writer knows about the call to adventure, when the protagonist’s world turns upside down, random people start coming out of no where and the protagonists begins to learn things they wouldn’t have thought to ask about.

And it’s funny because when I prayed, all I asked for was a little push in the right direction. I want to teach college level one day and all I wanted was to be shown the way…

And I think I’ve hit that first conflict. I haven’t been able to write or read or do anything like that for me. I wasn’t able to finish the first draft of my novel for Nanowrimo and I’m only six chapters away. Honestly, I’m crying on the inside, trying to figure out what’s going to come next because I know where my heart really lies; it’s in my writing.

I don’t know where I’m going with this – with this career shift or this blog post. I guess this is me just trying to figure it out, coming to terms with what I’ve asked for.

It just feels strange, knowing that I was heard.

And answered so swiftly.

What does this mean?

– B. Brown

(art by Randall David Tipton: Logjam)

It’s Here… (Nanowrimo)

It’s upon me, the month

it’s all stitched tightly

together. In a month, it’ll have eyes

 

to peek through drawn curtains

a hand to reach from the dark

alleys of their imagination,

 

a sultry, whispering voice

that’s neither charming

or alarming but enticing,

 

commanding, urging them to climb,

run and jump, dash

and breathe deeper, think quicker

 

harvest their adrenaline

to think two, three steps ahead

to figure the encounter, to look further

 

with my words, my lines

and my slant rhymes

that define my stalking tale.

 

With skin, bones and flesh

entailed, it’ll rise – rise!

and feed on your fright.

 

It’s hungry, famished

from it’s fight for life, it’s coming.

It’s creeping, it’s headed this way

 

– B. Brown

(image courtesy of pinterest; by Bernie Wrightson)

 

Nanowrimo is officially here, ya’ll! I’m about halfway through my novel and confident that it’ll be ready for editing by the end of this month. My goal is to complete at least one chapter a day. It’ll be tough because I’m juggling work, school, parenting and another poetry collection that I would love to have completed by the end of this year. 

Who’s all participating this year? I feel I finally have the right equipment, skill and mind set. I’m ready. I’m soooo ready for this challenge. What are your goals? What are you aiming for? 

 

 

 

Rifled

he scrolled through his contacts, debating on who’d hear the ringing shots,

who’d get burned by a stray shell and who’d toss his gun

not who’d get cut down mid-run

trying to save him

from himself:

the ride or die

who pawned her life

for his love

– B. Brown

(art courtesy of Pinterest)

Today is the day…

I start my Poetry Fundamentals class. I’ve reviewed my readings (which is a crap ton of poems by poets with funny names) and my assignments: analyzing object and list poems and discussing them with my fellow classmates.

And I have two poems due by Sunday for my portfolio.

I’m excited.

I’m nervous.

But I’m hell bent at becoming a refined poet so I’m hungry for this knowledge,

Ready for this challenge.

Alsooooooooo….

My first day of substituting is this Wednesday.

I’m excited.

I’m nervous.

But there’s this woman in my dreams who I aspire to be. She’s been teaching for years, has numerous publications under her belt and has a consisting posting schedule for her website.

These are just some of the steps I’m taking to get to her.

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to feel like I’m in the right place at the right time with the right people.

I’m on my way.

– B. Brown

I’ve Returned

and where’ve I been?

easing from under the shade
of my apple tree
whose roots have broken concrete,
whose fruits have fallen
too soon
from the faintest winds,

where have I been?

cowering amongst rotten cores
and tics disguised as seeds
hailing Mary
every time I thought
I heard my mirror speak…

but my reflection wasn’t my own
not that I could even recognize
myself without a tight scarf of smoke

my reflection wasn’t own
I learned that my demons
could shape-shift at will
and they will

where I’ve been
is seeking sanctuary
in the calloused hands of hope
savoring grains of salt
praying that the price I paid
to uproot everything I know
will return to me
seven-fold
and glimmering
with the honest of golds

and truth be told
where I’ve been
now seems eons away
and dozens of crates of mold
I was cheaply sold ago
before I chose to make
that harassing Holy Ghost
my home

home,
here, amongst potential
around the influential
facing a promising venue
of what I could do
what I should do
and will do

I’m here,
found again
never to be lost again…

– B. Brown

[image courtesy of Pinterest]

Scenes

their wics flickered

like cautious stars

and her moving mind,

the heaviest hole

– B. Brown

(image courtesy of Pinterest)

5 Things I’ve Learned (So Far) While Writing My First Novel

1. Freewriting is fun but when you’re creating a long, complex novel, outlining is your bestfriend. I started writing this novel with just a few basic plot points and as I wrote, I sort of just winged it. The story has since revealed itself to be more complex and longer than I anticipated. I thought it’d be just a novella but this baby is well over 30,000 words and I’m not even halfway done and I’ve taken down notes of more stuff I want to add during the revision process. I believe my writing process wouldn’t be as tedious if I’d created a well thought out outline before hand.

2. It’s best to have more than just a few characters. I’ve fallen in love with my main characters but my main characters need some help conveying the whole story. Since the start of my rough draft, I’ve added about ten new characters to my story. Not every one has a huge role but they are extremely important because they help populate my fictional world, one that I am trying to make as vivid as possible. Not only that, they help with the cohesion of my scenes.

3. Research your supernatural elements. Magic is a prominent theme in my story yet I only knew a few things about the metaphysical details I wanted to apply. If your magic system is closely related to real world practices, do yourself a favor and research as much as you can. Watch Youtube videos, read some books and talk to people. We want our work to be as authentic as necessary.

4. Find a well-seasoned author of your chosen genre and analyze the crap out of their writing. Pay attention to how they set up their fictional world, how they set tone and which literary devices they utilize. I suggest your author of choice be especially inspiring to you.

5. Know your literary conventions. And to know your conventions, you have to identify what genre(s) you’re work best fits into. Romance novels have different attributes than horror or crime novels. These attributes are what define romance and readers buy them expecting some romantic stuff to pop off. My readers will have certain expectations of my supernatural thriller so I have to make sure I deliver (just have to make sure it’s not too predictable or cliche).

I hope these tips have helped. Thank you for reading 🙂

– B. Brown

1000 Followers!!! 😁❤️🌹

I cant believe I made it to 1k followers! This is truly a blessing for me and I want to thank you guys for your love, support and feedback. You’ve helped me grow and maintain the confidence to keep growing. Thank you thank you thank yous!

Update: I finished my Story and Concept class with an A! It was so stressful but my hard work certainly paid off.

I got a new kitten! His name is Alfred and he always likes to help me edit on the computer

I’m moving to Atlanta this year! I’m terrified but excited to expand my horizons

A publishing company contacted me! This could be the beginning of my career guys! Wish me luck!

Estranged

how comfortable I was

giving everything

I thought I was

before I knew

what or who I was

conforming

performing how a hidden

witness does

how solicitous

with barely a soul to offer

if it’d give me a chance

a place

a body to harbor

– B. Brown

(image courtesy of Pinterest)

Untimely Wisdom

like a flower who bloomed too soon,

I witnessed the harshes of winters, alone

pelted with acidic rain

no chance to glisten with dew,

only frost, fragrance diffused

I welt before decaying leaves,  

my flush foreign

amongst fraying faculties,

couldn’t fathom following through

as a phantom into the spring

– B. Brown